A pen is mightier than a sword! I still don’t completely agree with this, cause in some specific situations, you kinda need to throw your pen away and pick up a sword!! It is a hard world out there!!
I am quite a sober person, I would never pick up a sword per say, but I guess, when I am angry, my words are like swords (Then again, everybody is that way I guess). That is what this blog is about. Words that are said can never be taken back!!
I hurt someone very close to me a couple of months ago with my words. The situation could have been handled much better no doubt!! I did want to express a few things, but in the flow, a lot more than intended came out and at the point it felt fine for me, I might say I was actually quite proud of myself. I thought I was being brave and finally saying what needed to be said, getting the courage to face reality and stuff. All that is good, but I forgot the humanity part of it.
What I am trying to say is, AB, I am really sorry for the harsh things I said to you. I wouldn’t say that I did not mean any of them, I did mean them, I just needed to find a much much better way to say it. I still have a long way to go when it comes to expressing my feelings to you.
Things are better with us now, I think, but I know that you will never forget the things I said to you, called you things that I should not have. Somehow, in between all this, I think you are confused about my feelings for you. Others who are reading this, Sorry! you probably have no idea what I am writing about, Just lemme do this, I will write another blog for you guys today!
So this is what I feel and this is me expressing them in the best way I know, with words :
I love you – very very much, this is never going to change, regardless of what happens to us; even if we aren’t together and I am 80 years old, your name will forever bring a smile and nothing but warmth in my heart! I did need and I still do need my space. I told this to you before but I did a horrible job of explaining it to you. I want to be with you and be together, just for both of us to time for ourselves, so we can do things that define us, away from each other. I think that is very important in any relationship. I want to be a part of your life, of all the highs and lows; I want you to know that you can still come back and talk to me about anything that is bothering you, I promise I won’t lash out like how I did a couple of months ago. I want us to laugh at together and add on building all these memories that we already have. I want us to understand each other better. I dunno if I am even making sense, feels like I am just rambling on.
Well this is me, I guess what I am asking for is, Can we start over? Start fresh?